took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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