WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
