69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
