my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
