Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
