i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize