Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
