The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
