I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
