i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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