"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
