Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My liver just broke up with me...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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