drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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