Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
