Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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