If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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