The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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