Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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