bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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