I'm really into asian looking animals
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
