my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
