What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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