Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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