I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
