I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
