It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
