your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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