In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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