Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
