dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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