Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
