Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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