Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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