The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
