awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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