fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
