uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
