How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
