Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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