the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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