We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
40s are totally the cure
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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