Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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