I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
