Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
