Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
