fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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