You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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