whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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