Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
