Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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