allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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